Me? My name is Elizabeth. That’s a pretty sweet name when you think about how popular mythology has spread it into almost every language creating hundreds of variations and shortened versions. I’ll answer to pretty much any combination of Eli, Liz, or Beth with or without the standard middlename accompaniment (Ann). Lately, I’m feeling kinda Eliza. It’s girlie, and has the E and the Z — the two letters in my name of which I am the fondest.
I grew up in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania but have lived in several states including Angst, Panic, Rage, California, and most recently Ennui. I just turned thirty-three and can’t wait to be the meanest old lady ever. I’ve been practicing and I’ve got some good material just waiting for some pesky kids who’ve yet to be even a twinkle.
If I had time for fun between my day job spaying and neutering rodents in the HumaniVan (“Clean Houses Start With Sterile Mouses”) and my night job with the Horticulture Isn’t What You Think It Is Info-line, I think I would borrow a neighbor’s kid and join one of those science journal clubs for babies where hot moms gather to read the most currently published research available out loud, pausing frequently for equally hot debates and snack time. (I have a thing for those goldfish-shaped crackers.) In the little spare time I do have, I am working on a coffee table book exploring the hair trend (singular) of broadcast news readers.
I used to collect things until I realized it was easier to collect dust on things, so mostly I just do that.
If you need to contact me you can drop me an email at liz @ surpluscats . net.