Procrastination (to the tune of Joy Division’s Isolation)

Hello, Internet! Fancy meeting you here.

I’m in a weird mood, and also back in Vermont, uh, recharging. Yeah. The weirdness isn’t bummed-outness. It’s more like, now my feelings about returning to my hometown have been confirmed (yesssss!), and my expectation of it not being, like, immediate gratification have been validated. I’m kind of relieved that it’s going to take more time and effort because if it hadn’t I’d be huddled under a (thin) blanket or possibly a sheet, with my jaw clenched waiting for everything to fall apart and land on me. The weird mood is about me being correct and trying to decide if it is worse to be correct about this or just always correct in general and, so, rarely pleasantly surprised? Maybe a “bit of luck” would’ve been nice? But again, also terrifying. Well good for me! I’ve got something to work toward, and I’m much happier when I’m focused on something.

So, I was too busy enjoying my time to document it. I’m terrible at taking photos while things are happening, so I pretty much have nothing in that department. I drank a ton of good beer and enjoyed a lot of good hangs. My friends are all charming and adorable and hilarious. (Probably more so than your charming, adorable, hilarious friends but I can’t prove it, and you can’t disprove it.) I fell in love with my friend’s baby, and a St. Bernard another friend is dog-sitting. (GUYS! I got to walk a ST. BERNARD. Not a euphemism.)

I’ve been doing a lot of writing! Well, obviously not here. I’m also drawing again which is good because two years ago I spent way too much money on a fancy set of pens and have felt guilty about it ever since. However! I’ve convinced myself that things would turn out better if I was using my table and not balancing things on my knees in bed, which led to my new tightly held conviction that I can’t accomplish anything decent or worthwhile until I move my table over next to the window. This requires rearranging my room –the room I don’t want to be in, in the state I’m trying to get out of. Waste of time! But if I don’t work through the extreme procrastination I will keep blaming the table’s distance from the window for my inability to ink these sketches, instead of admitting I’m a lazy baby.

Oh babies. I think I’m reaching some middle age milestone where my emotional outbursts are no longer limited to a regularly scheduled portion of the month? I’ve decided that I’m unsubscribing from the Zooborns feed because the sight of baby elephants and orangs and newly hatched turtles is too much for me. I see them and my heart aches. Growing pains, like the Grinch? I don’t know. I do know that the devil is truly just a metaphorical construct because if he were a real thing, the blood of one of you, my nearest and dearest, would be on my hands while I was enjoying a new life with my new baby elephant roommate. Sorry, but I’m not going to lie. Maybe I should get a turtle once I’m settled somewhere.

Oh look, another internet mixtape: (Fifteen tracks including music by Swell Maps, Maximum Joy and Colin Newman.)