Surplus Cats

I can’t have a good dream without it morphing into something horrific (my definition, not necessarily yours) or it being promptly followed by a nightmare. I know it is tedious to read about dreams so I will just give you the sick details because it is also a fairly complete list of things that I find unbearably gross.

• a karaoke diner
• the cook was ladling sausage gravy all over the place
• birds were flapping around inside, their feathers landing in the sausage gravy mess (also: bird tracks in puddles of sausage gravy)
• no one was wearing shoes or socks
• all of the surrounding conversations were about surgical mishaps
• strangers wearing wool kept bumping into the bare portions of my arms
• at some point I got glitter in my eye
• my wallet fell out of my back pocket and into a toilet (one of my greatest fears)
• my toothbrush cuddling with other toothbrushes
• a drinking fountain filled with milk. “Eco-friendly” recirculating milk.

You know what? I have to stop right there and die a little bit faster.