As a fan of the supernatural thriller type movie I am happy to suspend disbelief to a degree beyond that of my more obnoxious spoil sport nerd friends. You can even hit me with some preposterous fringe bullshit like aquatic apes or hilarious hybrids or really stretch string theory if you want, but when your human characters react in ways that defy explanation, you’ve lost me.
I was really into this movie I was watching tonight when the lovely protagonist is startled awake by scary sounds from the empty apartment above and decides to investigate barefoot and in a negligee. What horror flick could this be, you ask? ALL OF THEM EVER.
Who would do this? Granted, I am a kid who can’t sleep without socks and the idea of being barefoot somewhere that isn’t my bathtub horrifies me –but who wanders around dark, unfamiliar, vacant places after hearing who-knows-what busting shit up in the immediate area without grabbing their slippers, or better yet throwing on actual shoes? Someone who is going to step on a rusty nail or through broken glass and/or a puddle of blood, that’s who.
Of course I am aware there are a stupillion more significant problems with the genre, many of which account for the extremely irritating extremely vulnerable ladyvictim trope, but this absurdity drives me bonkers. Instant spell breaker.
While I’m complaining about petty things –how useless is the new Netflix layout that provides the opinions of everyone in the world except the people you’ve specifically told them you care to hear from? I want to read random strangers’ reviews of movies just about as much as I want to overhear them on their cell phones.
For example, here is a 1 star review of The Big Lebowski:
Not that it is a film beyond reproach — but no plot? Really? This person rated Beverly Hills Chihuahua five stars. We are 18% similar, it says. If they can produce movie recommendations based on my ratings, why wouldn’t they screen out reviews from strangers that I’m less than 50% taste-compatible with? What is the point of collecting huge amounts of data and then not utilizing it?
I am done complaining for the afternoon! It is time to go have dinner with a puppy. (Sadly, not my puppy. But related! We are like second cousins.) There will be pictures!
Puppy!!!
