Surplus Cats

Somewhere in the world there is a place where all of the worn out elastic hair-ties retire. If you stumbled upon it you would find the rusted remains of the ancient metal closure bands and thread bare husks of the scrunchies of times past.

And somewhere deep in this hair band graveyard is an even more secret spot where all of my elastic bands ran away to get on like teenagers do –filled with hundreds and thousands and kajillions of these guys from Goodie’s ironically named “Stay-Put Collection” that never ever ever stay where I put them. They’re not in my bag. Or in my desk drawer. Or around my wrist, or the handle of my hair brush. They just leave. I’m certain of it.

Ill-advised pony-tail holders improvised from common office items:

• binder clips
• mangled paper-clips
• chain fashioned out of paper-clips
• pull-chains taken from desk lamps and/or ceiling fans
• Mardi Gras beads from last year’s company anniversary party
• twist-ties pulled from the tangle of cables under your desk

Office supply order:

• rubber bands