“It was most certainly not a spider,” the arachnid specialist assured the press conference.
“It was most certainly not a spider,” the arachnid specialist said again adding, “Hearing this story, my first thought is ‘Why would a spider have any interest in an appendectomy scar?’’’
“It was most certainly not a spider,” continued the arachnid specialist. “A spider knows very little of internal human anatomy and would not even know an appendectomy scar could be an entrance.”
“It was most certainly not a spider,” said the arachnid curator of Arachnology (Emeritus), joining the conversation thread. “There is just no historical evidence of interest in under-human-skin travel by any spider populations. A three day trip, burrowing about the torso of a human male? This does not fit with spider customs at all.”
“It was most certainly not a spider,” the arachnologist repeated. “While one cannot rule out the possibility of environmental and cultural shifts creating subtle differences in behavior as inter-species influence affects social mores — but, I ask, why would a spider want to crawl around inside someone like a mere parasite? A spider surely would not.”
“It was most certainly not a spider,” the arachnid researcher from the Arthropod Institute affirmed. “My initial reaction is that you are looking for a completely different animal. I’m not one to speculate or point a claw but in my professional opinion I see this the work of a mite.”
“It was certainly not a spider,” said the arachnid specialist.
“Certainly not a spider,” the arachnid curator emphasized.
“Not a spider,” concluded the arachnid researcher.